Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I would ride that face into the sunset
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