Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
