I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
