Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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