What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
