On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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