Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
