I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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