you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
