It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
