I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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