This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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