okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hippo gnu deer
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
