you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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