im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
