I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
