Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
