so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
