would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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