I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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