i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
