Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
