yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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