You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize