You're completely useless in the revolution.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
