Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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