Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
