Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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