Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
