Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He? As in you personified your dick?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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