Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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