Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize