They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
