you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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