the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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