Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
