it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
