Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think my moral compass just broke
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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