I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
