And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
