i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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