i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
