but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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