Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
