So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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