i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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