By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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