before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
