Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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