Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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