I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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