we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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