So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
