I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
