Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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