You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
