when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
