Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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