but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
