She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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