quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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