he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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