I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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