The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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