No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
