i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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