you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
