Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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